Last Friday Night
by puckasaurusgleek
Summary: What happens when three hot Jews are scorned by love and decide to enjoy their new found freedom? Blaine, Rachel, and Puck adventure awaits!Eventual Puckleberry


It still amazes me how one day everything is completely normal. I had the girlfriend I'd been chasing for months, there was like NO drama in Glee Club, and I had gone a full seven days without a lecture from my Ma about getting my life together. Of course, as in stories about me, the infamous Noah Puckerman, the shit inevitably hit the mother fucking fan. How was I supposed to know that Lauren's bitch of a cousin, Desire, just happened to be one of my regulars last summer? Not only that but Desire had also been the root of all of Lauren's insecurities about her weight issue which meant that there was no way that she could ever forgive me for my sleezy ways. Then, I get home and my Ma's standing there with her 'he's so much like his father' face and I knew I was in for it.

'You lied to me Noah Elijah.' Fuck, the use of my middle name meant she was borderline homicidal.

'About what?' I questioned, not really knowing which particular lie she had uncovered.

'You said you were going to be at JCC tonight helping Rachel move boxes from storage. If Rachel hadn't come here herself with that very attractive gay boy, three tubs of cookies n' cream ice cream, and every Barbra Streisand movie ever made, I would have been none the wiser.' She crossed her arms and gave me her infamous death glare that legit made my hands sweaty with nerves; couldn't help it, my Ma can be fucking scary when she was pissed.

'I'm sorry Ma. It's Lauren's birthday today and I know how much you hate her and her non-Jewish ways so I didn't want to upset you. But don't worry, she dumped my ass just like every other girl I've dated.' So yeah, I was totally feeling sorry for myself at this point but really, everyone thinks I'm this heart breaker when the truth is I've never dumped a girl before, I'm always the one to get dumped… always.

'I can't say that I'm not elated you two are no longer together because lying is a sin but I'm sorry you're hurting son. I know how it feels to care about someone and have them leave… we both do, so I hate that you have to feel it again… but, that does not excuse your actions over the last few years and I'm not able to look past this again. You're grounded for two weeks, that means you go to school, Glee, practice, then come straight home. No parties, no Breadstix with the boys and no sneaking out of your window at 2:25 AM when you think I've gone to sleep. I've had enough.' I couldn't help but stare at her with my damn jaw on the floor. Sure, the minute she said grounded I knew I was under house arrest but I had no idea she knew I left the house after she went to bed… at the same time every night. I thought I had been channeling my inner Mike Chang and pulling off ninja escapes every night, apparently my attempts were more like Finn's dancing… fucking terrible. The funny part was that if she knew it was to meet Berry at the park, she'd probably make me a fucking rope ladder. Of course, there was nothing romantic about our meetings (or sexy for that matter), we usually walked there in our flannel pajamas looking like hell with our bed head and morning breathe but we both needed to talk to someone about all the shit in our lives and we found it easy to talk to each other. She didn't judge me for wanting a family and I didn't judge her for wanting someone to actually love her… all of her, not just the 'good' parts. She wants someone who understands why she sent Sunshine to the crack house, or why she ratted on everyone for not singing with her during practice. I guess I fill that role, cuz yeah, I get it. Her crazy is because she needs to get out of Lima and needs to feel something positive. Fuck, I was gonna miss those meetings.

'There's one exception to these restrictions though; I will allow you to hang out with the kids from JCC. I think you need interaction with kids you have more in common with than the girls you've slept with, or should I say women? Because the word around Lima is that my sweet Noah is practically a prostitute for all of the pathetic housewives of Allen County.' I would have fist pumped at the news that I could still hang out with Rachel but instead I almost passed the hell out when those words left her mouth. She knew I was sexually active, hell Quinn and Beth were pretty big indicators but for her to hear about my pool cleaning and its _perks_ actually embarrassed me and for the first time I felt ashamed of what I did. I couldn't look her in the eye anymore so I shoved my hands in my pockets and stared at my feet. I felt her grab my face gently and pull it up to look at her.

'I love you son and I know this isn't who you really are; you're just lost. Now, my future daughter in law and that boy are upstairs waiting for you and judging by the sadness in your eyes and the lack of color in your face, I'm assuming you could use the ice cream and a decent cry caused by our beloved Barbra.' She winked at me before turning and heading towards her bedroom. I swear to Neil Diamond that my Mom had just made a fucking funny. She knew I was all jacked up with everything she said so she makes a Rachel Berry comment about Babs to lighten the mood and fuck if it didn't make me grin like a two year old.

I took the stairs two at a time once I got my thoughts together. There was only one reason that Berry would be sitting in my room with buckets of ice cream… Finn had fucked up again. I swear if that dude keeps this up I'm gonna go all ape shit on his ass and beat him to a fucking pulp. What I was really curious about was why she would bring his step-brother Kurt (my first assumption) along for the Category 5 Rachel Berry Breakdown. I know they're friends but Kurt usually took Finn's side in these awkward situations… something about Family First that I think was ridiculous considering Finn is a dumbass and usually does really stupid shit. I swung the door open and was completely surprised again (for the millionth time tonight) to see Blaine sitting next to a red-eyed Rachel with his own tears running down his face. Neither of them said a word at first, Blaine just handed me my own pint of ice cream and a spoon as I took the seat on the opposite side of Rachel… a Berry sandwich. We sat in silence for a really long time, each of us dwelling on the crap we'd been dealt. Blaine broke the silence first.

'Fuck Kurt, Finn, and Lauren.' He said shoveling another large bite into his mouth.

'Don't get me wrong, I'm totally on board with this Emo self-hatred bandwagon but what exactly happened?' I asked around my own bite of Oreo awesomeness.

'Finn has been seeing Quinn behind my back… again.'

'Sorry babe,' I replied wrapping my arm around her and giving her a kiss on her forehead. Poor thing had been tossed like a fucking yo-yo by that ass and the ice queen. She didn't deserve that shit. 'and you Warbler?'

'Oh, Kurt's been seeing Karofsky of all people behind my back.'

'That's fucking gross… Kurt and _Karofsky_?' I shuddered at the horrible images that crossed through my mind and wished there was enough soap in the world to wash them out of my brain forever because I knew that bucket of nasty was gonna stick like fucking glue and haunt my nightmares.

'We conquer. So, we saw Lauren's Facebook status said 'Gave Puckerman his balls back. Shoved them down his throat… hope he chokes! Slimy Bastard.' What happened?' I cringed at the words Lauren had posted for the world to see. It's not that I care about what other people think anymore, I just cared what she thought… and those thoughts made it sound like I two-timed the broad.

'That bitch! Alright, so I'm going to go all Lifetime Movie on you guys so bear with me. So apparently I used to _clean her cousin's pool_, if you catch my drift; but I didn't know it was her cousin otherwise I would have fucking told her. So yeah, we're sitting at dinner having a bombtastic time. I gave her a bouquet of blue hydrangeas with fucking peacock feathers in it because I know she loves them and her present was this amazing fucking purse that looked like a boom box and was silver cause she complained last week that she didn't have one to carry her shit and because I know that she's into unique things like that. So yeah, we're sitting there enjoying the special dinner the chef made for us at my request and the skank walks in. Lauren put her fork down and looked all embarrassed and shit. I asked her what was wrong because I've never seen her look so… so weak and sad. Anyway, Desire walks over and says 'Hey Ellie' so I asked who the fuck Ellie was and she said it was her nickname, short for elephant. It pissed me the fuck off cuz no one should ever say shit like that to people, much less my girl who looked really pretty in her special dress. So I turn to say shit but she cuts me off with 'Oh, you're that kid who used to clean my pool three times a week; the one with the birthmark on the inside of his thigh.' I tried to say something again but her big fucking mouth wouldn't shut the fuck up and she's all 'so what are you doing here with my baby cousin? Is it a pity date or did you get a job at Sea World cleaning Shamu's tank?' I've never wanted to hit a girl so bad in my life. So I was like 'No, I'm here with my beautiful girlfriend celebrating her birthday so we'd appreciate it if you'd fuck off and die.' Then she's all 'Oh, that's not what you said last time I saw you… pretty sure it was 'babe, you can call me day or night and I'll fucking come running for your smokin' bod.' But don't worry Puck, her fat ass will never catch you when you come running back to my bed.' All of a sudden Lauren fucking runs out of the restaurant; I didn't even have time to explain that I didn't give two shits about that skanky bitch. I threw money on the table and had to search the whole damn town to find her and when I did she chewed my ass out for being a lying asshole which really fucking hurt because I never once lied to her. So then she through the purse across the pavement and said that she never wanted to see me again. I never even got to say I was sorry. I felt so bad seeing her so upset and I wanted to explain that I didn't know about her cousin and that I think she's pretty no matter what size she is but she never let me.' I'm pretty sure I sounded more like a girl than Kurt but I really needed to get that shit out of my system.

'You really did nothing wrong Noah, you did all you could and it's her loss if she didn't want to hear you out, now… I don't know about the two of you but I really don't want to play this game. We did nothing wrong so why are we the ones torturing ourselves? We're three hot Jews who deserve to enjoy ourselves!' Rachel said passionately with her determined face that made me chuckle. Of course the info she had just laid on me needed to be brought up first.

'You're a Jew Blaine?' I asked in complete shock.

'Hell yeah I'm Jewish. I was just going to my old Temple but I'm starting here this weekend. I'll be going to JCC with you guys too.'

'That's fucking awesome dude, Rachel and I could use someone our age other than Jewfro to chill with. Wait, Jewish… Fight Club… badass singer… you're like the gay version of me!' I joked. They both thought it was epically hilarious, hell, Rachel even snorted a couple of times. 'So… you guys up for some _Fuck Our Exes Funtime_?'

'Yes, I'm totally ready!' Rachel clapped excitedly.

'I'm in too, no more pity party… let's have a real party.' Blaine added, jumping off of my bed and throwing away three empty Ben and Jerry's containers.

'I feel like getting my drink on Noah.' Rachel said with a smirk.

'Are the daddy's Berry home?' I asked. She jumped off the bed and dragged me with her. 'Take that as a no.'

We literally ran downstairs, all of us determined to forget our troubles as quickly as possible.

'Ma! We're gonna spend the night at Rachel's! Oh, and Blaine is Jewish!' I yelled towards her room.

'I figured he was! Go have fun but try not to get her pregnant!' she shouted to embarrass me… it worked, however I'm pretty sure she didn't want me to hear the addition to her statement, 'God, I hope he doesn't choose this time to actually do what I say.' Rachel saw the funny face I made as I stood frozen in the hallway.

'What's wrong Noah?' She asked with genuine concern. I shrugged it off and decided to keep that particular bit of info to myself as we headed to my truck. Rachel sat in the middle again and I couldn't help but chuckle at how the three of us must have looked.

I was dressed up for my date. I had a white pressed shirt (sleeves rolled up of course), my black slacks and vest from my Lady Is a Tramp performance and even my red silk tie, fuck if I remember which performance it came from. Rachel was wearing a kick ass black dress that looked straight out of the 50's; it had that a sweetheart neckline and was covered in glitter. Her hair was all up in a sloppy but secure bun (her words not mine) and she had on some bright red fuck me pumps (my faves). Blaine was sporting a dark red button up shirt with cuffed short sleeves (dude had to own it in every fucking color), black bowtie, suspenders and pants… capris… things. We were all dressed for dates, color fucking coordinated (fuck you Kurt Hummel for teaching me shit like sweetheart neckline and color coordinated) and we were all wedged into my piece of shit truck that made sounds like it would die at any second, which reminded me to play some fucking music. The three of us in a car together without music was like Nirvana without Kurt Cobain… just sad. So of course, I flip on the radio and what do you think is playing? Not party music, that's for sure!

**Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and marks**

**Any heart not tough or strong enough**

**To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain**

**Love is like a cloud holds a lot of rain.**

**Love hurts. Oooh, love hurts…**

I turned that shit fast only to get…

**We are young, heartache to heartache we stand**

**No promises, no demands love is a battlefield…**

I had to turn the station five more times and each time it got worse. I Will Always Love You, I Cross My Heart, Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely, Jar of Hearts, and of course, because Karma is a bitch… Fat Bottom Girls. I finally shut the whole damn thing off because I couldn't take anymore. The tension was thick in the truck but for the life of me I couldn't think of a thing to do. Luckily, Blaine being the gay me, had my back.

'**They see me rollin' **Blaine started. I smirked at his song choice.

'**They hatin' **I continued with my best Gangsta swagger.

'**Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty' **Rachel finished loudly, throwing her arms in it. None of us could contain our laughter and it got us all the way to Rachel's house. We sang the chorus obnoxiously as we kicked off our shoes and made ourselves comfortable in her dining room. She pulled out a bottle of Jack and a deck of cards.

'What are the cards for B?' I asked confused.

'What kind of party would it be without a few games?' she replied with a sneaky grin. 'Ever heard of Kings Cup?'

'Isn't that normally played with beer?' Blaine asked nervously.

'Yep, but I figured we could improvise because I don't like beer.' She shrugged. I grinned and pulled the cards out of the box making a circle around the empty cup in the middle of the table.

'Anyone need a refresher on the rules? Or should we make our own to speed up the game a bit?' I asked as we each poured a large glass of jack and coke.

'I think we should keep all of them!' Rachel clapped.

'Alrighty, let's get started.' Blaine stated with a large smile, grabbing the first card. Queen: Questions… the first person to say something that wasn't a question had to drink. Blaine started first since he picked the card, Rachel was second and I was third.

'Who are you? Who am I? Who do you want me to be?' I finished with a smirk, both of them laughed at my play flirting.

'Where are you from? When did you get here? How did you get here? How do you think? Do you want to drink? Do you want to do naughty things? Do you ever stop with the sexual innduendos? Do you think girls really like it? How do you think I've slept with all of the cheerleaders? How do you avoid STDs? Have you heard about that girl Alex that found out she had one? Was that Alex Johnson or Alex Davidson? Which one do you think he slept with Rachel? Who do you think? Can you picture me with Alex Davidson? Why would I want to, she's the one with the STD right? How do you know that's what I heard? Oh thank God… aww fuck! You guys suck!' I said taking a large swig of my drink. I didn't really care though, I was just glad they told me who it was and that I was in the clear. I mean, I knew I was clean, I get checked for that shit all the time, but I felt fucking dirty just imagining that I'd slept with someone who had one.

'That's what you get Puckerman!' Rachel said with a maniacal laugh. I stuck my tongue out at her as she picked the next card. She pulled a 2 which meant she got to pick the poor son of a bitch who got to drink. 'Blaine, it's all you baby!' He glared as he took a drink and I pulled my card. King, fuck yeah! King meant I got to pick a rule that everyone had to follow before taking a drink.

'Shark it!' I shouted like a little kid, they both turned to me with questioning looks. 'It means that you have to put your hand over your head like a shark fin and shake it like you're waving.' I showed them what I meant and they both got a kick out of it.

We all took our turns and I swear Rachel 'sharking it' was the funniest thing I'd ever seen in my life… oh wait, nah… it got better. Of course the camera was pulled out quickly which I knew could only lead to a very embarrassing day for us tomorrow when we looked through them. The cool thing was that it was Blaine's fancy ass camera that took some wicked cool pics, like professional looking ones. Rachel looked like a freaking model in most of them and I will say that I didn't look too bad myself (insert wink here). So yeah, it got way better. The rules that were made were EPIC! Blaine got the next King and decided that we would have to meow every time we took a drink, combine the shark it and the meow and you have blackmail for the rest of your life… it doesn't matter how badass I am, there's no way to be cool doing that shit. It's fucking hilarious. Then Rach got the third King and really brought the game to a different level… stripping. If you took a drink, ya had to take something off. This left me in my boxer briefs, socks, dress shoes, and somehow Blaine's nerdy glasses (how I always end up in other peoples glasses when I get drunk is beyond me). Rachel's going to be pissed when she sees the picture of her in her bra, her dress around her waist (we gave her a little leeway since she wasn't wearing pants) and my red tie. Blaine had his suspenders attached to his boxers, his black bowtie and nothing else. It was hilarious. We took a group pic to make sure the moment was saved but like I said, I'm pretty sure Rach is going to be pissed… still funny though. So yeah, I got the last King which meant I had to drink the Jack and Coke that was in the community cup, it wasn't much though luckily.

We all had a pretty decent buzz going considering the amount we had consumed. The buzz lead us to Rachel's basement where we inevitably put on a concert for her video camera (another thing we're bound to regret considering our wardrobe and song choices) and her washing machine. I found a hot pink boa in her wardrobe closet that I couldn't resist sporting, fuck me and my drunken ideas. Rachel found a large Mad Hatter hat with a bright blue California Girls wig that she pulled off pretty damn well. Blaine decided on some 3Oh!3 style sunglasses and a vintage looking mustache. We looked like idiots and it was pretty fucking fantastic; this little impromptu show also lead to a song idea for Glee the following week.

'Ladies and Gentlemen, please put your paws together for the next cultural phenomenon… Rachel Berry and the Kings of Lima!' Rachel stated loudly into the microphone. 'Our first song for the evening is one that everyone should be familiar with so grab your partner and prepare for the heat…' her voice had gone raspy and I had to move the boa in order to cover my body's reaction. Damn her for not realizing when she's being a fucking vixen! So yeah… the song began and I couldn't fucking believe which one she'd picked. She had already told us what parts of the song each of us had and had given us each our own color on her sick karaoke machine. I was up first.

**Lay where you're laying, don't make a sound**

**I know they're watching, they're watching**

**All the commotion, the kiddie like play**

**Has people talking, talking**

Blaine and Rach joined me for the main line of the song…

**You, your sex is on fire**

Blaine rocked the hell out of the next stanza.

**The dark of the alley, the breaking of day**

**The head while I'm driving, I'm driving**

**Soft lips are open, knuckles are pale**

**Feels like you're dying, you're dying**

We joined him again for the main lyrics.

**You, your sex is on fire**

**Consumed with what's to transpire**

Rachel rattled my bones (insert another wink) with her amazing voice and the next verse.

**Hot as a fever, rattling bones**

**I could just taste it, taste it**

**If it's not forever, if it's just tonight**

**Oh, it's still the greatest, the greatest, the greatest**

We all joined together one last time and I swear I had fucking goose bumps as we finished the song.

**You, your sex is on fire**

**And you, your sex is on fire**

**Consumed with what's to transpire**

**And you, your sex is on fire**

**Consumed with what's to transpire**

'Holy shit, that was freaking amazing.' Blaine said as he tried to regain his breath.

'That was like, the fucking best thing we've ever done which says a lot considering Rachel rocks all the damn time.' I added.

'I'd have to agree, our voices fit amazingly together! Who wants to pick the next song?' she said excitedly.

'I do!' Blaine shouted. 'This is inspired by our awesome costumes.' He walked over and manned the machine like a pro. He skipped back to us with an evil grin on his face. 'I think that our dance experience and embarrassing costumes can only be made funnier if we rock some boy band.' Fuck, I had a feeling he was going to make this even more humiliating, but once the music started I couldn't help but get into the zone. If I was gonna sing a Backstreet Boys song, this was probably the least painful choice. Of course, the fact that I knew all of the words already didn't make me feel any better about myself. Blaine started us out and it was like all of the performances in Glee club, the original artist of the song goes to the way side and we rock the fuck out of it.

**I may run and hide**

**When you're screamin' my name, alright **(Rachel wrapped her arm around his neck and began doing a sexy tease thing with him that I think may have turned him straight for a little while)

**But let me tell you now there are prices to fame, alright**

**All of our time spent in flashes of light**

All three of us rocked the fuck out of the chorus, somehow managing to incorporate an unplanned synchronized dance.

**All you people can't you see, can't you see**

**How your love's affecting our reality?**

**Every time we're down**

**You can make it right**

**And that makes you larger than life**

It was my turn so I pulled Rachel to me and turned her around so her ass was to me. We danced together, her hands running down my chest, as I sang the provocative lines.

**Looking at the crowd**

**And I see your body sway, c'mon**

**Wishin' I could thank you in a different way, c'mon**

**'Cause all of your time spent keeps us alive**

**All you people can't you see, can't you see**

**How your love's affecting our reality?**

**Every time we're down**

**You can make it right**

**And that makes you larger than life**

**Yeah, that's right**

Rachel pulled herself away from me as she and Blaine joined me for the chorus.

**All of your time spent keeps us alive**

**All you people can't you see, can't you see**

**How your love's affecting our reality?**

**Every time we're down**

**You can make it right**

**And that makes you larger than life**

**Yeah, every time we're down**

**Yeah, you can make it right**

**Yeah, and that's what makes you larger than life**

Rachel finished the song for us, using her raspy sexy voice until the end when she belted the last line.

**All you people can't you see, can't you see**

**How your love's affecting our reality?**

**Every time we're down**

**You can make it right**

**And that makes you larger**

**And that makes you larger**

**And that makes you larger than life**

'We just put the Backstreet Boys to shame.' She said with a huge smile. I lifted her up and spun her around as we all laughed. Due to our physical activity and mad singing skills we were all losing our buzz so we set up a couple rounds of shots to spark our flames again. I held mine up in cheers and shouted 'Trinken!' (drink) They repeated me with enthusiasm and we downed our shots. As I swallowed through the burn a song floated through my head that I knew we'd have to sing next. We all had a blast bustin' out to I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas! I was pretty proud of my choice. After the song we downed a few more shots and things started to become blurred. I remember that the three of us were dancing to some awesome jams and talking about all kinds of crazy shit, dreams, desires, fantasies, and everything else under the sun. Then I remember getting a text from Santana.

**Come by my house and gets your party on. Booze, hot chicks, badass music… the place to be – Satan**

**I gots that here babe. Booze, hot chick, badass music, gay Puck… but maybe we'll swing by in a bit – Puckster**

**Are you high? Who the fuck is gay Puck? And who's the hot chick? Would I do her? – Satan**

**Gay Puck = Blaine, Hot Chick = Topless Rachel fucking Berry! And if you touch her I'll cut a bitch! – Puckster**

**Holy fuck! What the hell is going on? I think you got roofied Puckerman – Satan**

**We're having a party to get ovr the fukkrs that screwed us ovr. We be there in a sec – Puckster**

Apparently we were smart enough to walk our asses to Santana's place, just not smart enough to change our fucking clothes. I can only imagine everyone's face when the three of us walked in, Blaine and I on either side of Rachel, all three linked arm in arm yelling that the party had entered the building and 'everyone best gets the fuck out of our way' which was totally Rachel by the way. I apparently said something along the lines of…

'Where the fuck are my pants?' Oh, and Blaine still had the camera strapped around his neck and Rachel held the video camera… we really were going to burn the film whenever we sobered up… too much incriminating evidence.

'Holy fucking shit! You weren't kidding Puck!' Santana yelled drunkenly with a huge smile on her face.

'Told ya she was topless!' I yelled back with a smirk.

'Did you guys fuck or what? Where the hell are your clothes?'

'Not yet!' Rachel giggled. I couldn't help but pull her a little closer and whisper inappropriate things in her ear. She let out a howl of laughter and gave me an exaggerated wink which I took to mean she was up for it… later.

'We were playing a game and the game called for us to drop our drawers, so yeah, we're like almost naked! But don't worry! We'll sing and make it all better.' Blaine added. He dragged Rachel and I over to the large stereo system in the corner of the room that (thanks to Rachel's insistence) the microphone's we brought fit and transformed it into a karaoke machine.

'Santana! Man the camera! Finn! Film us!' Rachel ordered. I was shocked to see Finn, I had no idea he was at the party (oops). Obviously Rachel was over the dramatics of the day because she didn't even bat an eye. She shoved the video camera in his hand and forced Blaine's camera into Santana's as the music started. The room about jizzed in their pants when Rachel began… I have to say I was pretty fucking proud, drunk as shit, but fucking proud. She began in a sultry voice that reminded me of Adele and shit, freaking hot.

**See, I don't know why I liked you so much**

**I gave you all of my trust**

**I told you, I loved you, now that's all down the drain**

**You put me through pain, I wanna let you know how I feel**

**Fuck what I said, it don't mean shit now **(Blaine)

**Fuck the presents, might as well throw 'em out **(Me)

**Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean Jack** (Rachel)

**Fuck you you ho, I don't want you back **(All)

**Fuck what I said, it don't mean shit now **(Rachel)

**Fuck the presents, might as well throw 'em out **(Blaine)

**Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean Jack **(Me)

**Fuck you you ho, I don't want you back **(All)

**You thought, you could keep this shit from me, yeah **(Rachel)

**You burnt bitch, I heard the story **(Me)

**You played me, you even gave 'em head **

**Now you're askin' for me back**

**You're just another hack, look elsewhere**

**'Cuz you're done with me **(Blaine)

**Fuck what I said, it don't mean shit now **(Me)

**Fuck the presents, might as well throw 'em out **(Rachel)

**Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean Jack **(Blaine)

**Fuck you you ho, I don't want you back **(All)

**Fuck what I said, it don't mean shit now**

**Fuck the presents, might as well throw 'em out**

**Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean Jack**

**Fuck you you ho, I don't want you back **

**Oh oh, oh oh, uh huh, yeah**

**Oh oh, oh oh, uh huh, yeah**

**Oh oh, oh oh, uh huh, yeah**

**Oh oh, oh oh, uh huh, yeah **(All)

**You questioned, did I care?**

**You could ask anyone, I even said**

**You were my great one **(Me)

**Now it's all over but I do admit I'm sad **(Rachel)

**It hurts real bad, I can't sweat that 'cuz I loved a ho **(Blaine)

**Fuck what I said, it don't mean shit now**

**Fuck the presents, might as well throw 'em out**

**Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean Jack**

**Fuck you you ho, I don't want you back**

**Oh oh, oh oh, uh huh, yeah**

**Oh oh, oh oh, uh huh, yeah**

**Oh oh, oh oh, uh huh, yeah **(All)

The room erupted in cheers as the song ended and the three of us took a mother fucking bow cuz we had totally just laid it down. I looked around and noticed that one of the hockey guys was holding the video camera now. I spotted Finn and Kurt standing in a back corner looking like someone had kicked their damn puppy. It was epic. It was only right that the two of them were knocked down a few pegs. I was brought out of my side thoughts when Rachel began shouting something about shots…

'I need a mother fucking shot!' she yelled into the microphone.

'Come on Berry-licious, Auntie Santana will get you all the shots you want.'

'Back the fuck up Satan, you best not weasel your way between me and my Berry, comprende?' I asked.

'Hey Berry' Santana called, as Rachel turned around to answer she pulled her in and stuck her damn tongue down Berry's throat. Rachel responded for a little bit before pulling away.

'I may be extremely intoxicated Santana but I still know that I'd much rather make out with Noah… sorry.' Fuck yeah! I really liked this girl.

'Come on babe, let's go get us something to drink.' I pulled her by the hand, she grabbed Blaine and we headed to the kitchen. Last thing I remember is having a contest with Rachel and Blaine to see which one of us could finish our cup of mixed drink first and Katy Perry's Last Friday Night was playing in the background… then blackness.

Thank God for that damn video camera…


End file.
